10.08.2008 - Class Writing Challenge #1

DUE: 10/17

We’ve been talking about Transitions. It is important to be able to sense a thing’s path. To make predictions. You need to be able to look at your argument (or story) and know how to get it where you need it to be. Your challenge is to take the story start below, and guide it, with your own writing, to the ending provided. Good luck!

START

...As if the situation couldn't get any worse. To sum up, he was trapped on the wrong side of a tunnel collapse with the singe human being he was least interested in spending time with. There she was, slumped against the dirty stone walls, staring with her dark wicked eyes. At any moment, he just knew it, she would say something. And then he'd have to listen to her sharp, abusive voice. His only comfort was knowing that her evil friends would be panicking on the other side, and that they would more than likely miss their bus. “Worst field trip ever” didn't even start to describe it.

“Think of something, egg head.” And so it started. He sighed in resignation.

“Camilla, I'm a book worm, not an industrial miner. If you wanted help getting out of this sealed passage, you bullied the wrong kid.”

In the flickering electrical light of the single lamp, he could see her cruelly smile. She enjoyed this game, and his snarky response was an invitation for her to really get started. “When I said, 'I hope you die,' I certainly didn't want to be crushed with you. I guess that's what I get for having let you live so long!”

“You really are too nice.” He said this, but his mind raced for some way to change the subject before she decided to pass the time by beating him into jelly. He looked carefully at the sandy floor.

END

With an explosive crash, the stuffy air was suddenly filled with shards of stone and fire. He covered his face against the blast, but it scorched and ripped through his hoodie and seemed to cut him to the bone. He couldn't breath. He was delerious with pain and fatigue. He toppled toward the ground and unconciousness.

“Steven!”

Suddenly, he felt her hands slip under his armpits, and Camilla was dragging him through the tunnel, still filled with dust and hot smoke. She was coughing as she pulled him, almost gently, along.

“It worked! There is this huge hole in the rock pile that we can get through, but we have to do it quickly before the ceiling falls in!”

This was all too much work for him. His limbs felt powerless and empty, like an air mattress that had spent the last hours leaking. He just wanted her to let him sleep. “Then leave me. Save yourself.”

“You really must be stupid. I'm not leaving you!” And she didn't. Her tough, wirey limbs pulled him to safety through the black sooty caverns. Just as they emerged from their former prison, the ceiling did collapse. But they were with the tour group, and, after a few hours in a hospital, he was back home with his family. In a few more days, he'd be back at school. But everything was different now, with Camilla and inside himself.